Wal-Mart Fiasco

Ok, so if you know anything about me, I seem to have the craziest issues. Like the iPhone Fiasco. So, today was no different but I had to share because it was just off-the-wall crazy. Even for me.

I decided early on in the day I was going to take the boys to the grocery store to pick up a few items. (We were out of creamer and I can't function without my coffee so I really didn't have a choice here). I have tweeted oh, so many times, that I refuse to take the boys to the grocery store alone and that I would rather starve. It just doesn't make sense to me to suffer through the constant calling the 4-yr old to come back to the cart and shushhhhing the baby trying to get through the store. I can't see straight. I miss coupons. I forget things. I pay more because I'm not paying attention. It's retarded and I hate it. But, alas, I needed creamer.

I waited until after Lucas' morning nap and fed him a bottle and some lunch. I got the boys loaded up and made sure I had everything I needed. We pulled into the parking lot and it was sunny and 53 degrees out. Nothing that seemed out of the ordinary for this time of year. I proceeded to get out of the van and walk to the passenger side. I grabbed a nearby cart, opened the van door and grabbed my cart cover-thingy (what are those called??). I put it on the cart and reached into the van to unbuckle Lucas. And then a dark cloud covered the sun...and then it hit. The 5 minute blizzard outta nowhere.

Seriously, it was like the heavens opened up and was pouring Gatorade on my head after a big win. But it wasn't Gatorade, it was hail. Yep, hail. And rain. Cold, icy, rain. In a downpour. And as far as I know, I didn't win a dang thing. By the time I realized what was happening and turned around with Lucas his cover thingy was soaked. I was soaked. So much you could actually see through the white hoodie I had on. Nice.

I ripped out the cover thingy, shoved it into the back of the cart and chose to hold Lucas until we got inside. I then unbuckled the 4 year old and grabbed him with my other arm and threw him into the cart. I proceeded to RUN...yes, RUN to the front door as we weren't parked anywhere near the door. Remember, I said it was sunny? Right...so anyhoo. I hear this woman screaming "ma'am, ma'am..." I chose to ignore her because she couldn't possibly be referring to me as a ma'am right??? Wrong.

I finally turned around to find her signaling me down the aisle as I make out "you left your door open!" I squint my eyes to see through the pouring rain to see the back hatch of the van open all the way. But, I didn't open the back of the van. I'm certain it can't be mine and tell her so. She screams "I watched you get out of it!". Sigh...the only thing I can think is that I pushed the key to open it when I was squeezing Lucas trying to RUN while pushing the cart with my 40 pound son across the parking lot..so we RUN back to the van. I'm pushing all the buttons trying to get it to close but it's not working so we have to go all.the.way.back. It's still raining. Cold, icy, rain. And hard. Have I told you lately how much I hate this God-forsaken state?

We get to the van and I close the door. I re-lock the van and I RUN back to the store. AGAIN.

Needless to say when I get into the store I am panting and realize that it's probably time I start exercising again because that little stunt might just kill me. I'm trying to catch my breath and laughing at how retarded we must look to all the people inside who only saw the sun when they came in. The sun and clouds that was in the forecast. They had no idea there was just an unexpected freak blizzard over the Wal-Mart parking lot. Specifically my aisle. They must have been thinking "where the hell did she just come from?" and "look how hard that stupid woman is panting!!"
I should have known at that moment the trip was bound to be a poor one and turned around and went back home. But I didn't. And it cost me $104 and 2 Excedrin's to buy that dang creamer. I hate Wal-Mart.