They Say He Has Peanut Allergies...Now What?

I usually don't start off my posts with religious undertones, but this one is different. There is something that happens when someone or something threatens your child that stirs up that fire of God inside your belly that no amount of backsliding can take away. If you are offended, I'm sorry, and hope that one day you too will have the personal experience that will confirm God is real to you. I hope you read this anyways. You may still have some input I'd like to hear (do NOT bother writing against God, I'll delete your post), or hopefully you will learn something new with the feedback I'm hoping to get.

If you know me, you know I believe in God. If you know me well, you know that I haven't been living the way I should for awhile now and that I'm working on that. But no matter how long I've been out of church, I still know who my God is and that He is bigger than anything the little 'ol devil might wanna throw my way. Like he did on Friday. Stupid devil.

Let me first give you a little history. When Ethan was 9 months old, I decided to give him a bite of one of those peanut butter and jelly Smuckers frozen sandwiches. A friend of mine was feeding them to her son and I thought they would make for an awesome portable lunch. He choked on it. He gagged, and then puked. I figured it was from the texture and didn't think twice. A few days later, I tried again. Same result, now my mind was thinking hmm... A few weeks went by and I gave him a small Reese's morsel from one of those snack pack thingy's - he immediately puked - and I knew, something was wrong. I gulped and called the doc.

We met with the pediatrician who suggested we get his blood tested for peanut allergies. We put it off until he was almost 2 because we just didn't want to do it. We finally took the test. He came back with a 3 out of 5. She said it wasn't too severe, but at that level that we should avoid consumption of any peanuts or anything containing it. She prescribed us Epipens and said we needed to have them on us at all times because it was unknown if he would react severely or not. I cried for days and we lived in fear for months. A few times the daycare that was peanut free had some oh-so-generous-parents-who-can't-read donate peanut butter candy for snacks, which they fed to the children. Every time, Ethan began puking right away, forcefully, until his system was empty and then fine. Never a rash, never a breathing problem only puking, but only with a bite. The doctor said we would need to retest him when he was 4.

In May, Ethan turned 4. I had been filled with mixed emotions this birthday because 1)I knew he was that much closer to 5 and going to BIG BOY SCHOOL and 2)It meant we had to retest for the peanut allergy. You wouldn't think it would have consumed me as much as it did, but you have to picture my adorable Ethan asking me everyday, literally, if today he could have peanuts. He would tell Lucas "you can't have peanuts Lucas because you're a baby, but when you get big like me you can. I'm almost 4 and then I can have them." Even though we kept telling him we didn't know if he could or not he counted down the days to his birthday when the doctor would tell him he could. He would ask my husband if he had peanut butter on his sandwich and when he would reply that he did, Ethan would say "I'm almost 4 and when I turn 4 I'm going to be able to eat peanuts just like you daddy." Talk about pulling on your heart strings.

At his 4 year checkup the doc gave us the sheet to get his blood work done. We put it off until last week. I didn't want to know the results and really didn't want to have to hold him down to get his blood drawn again. I was afraid. What if they said it was worse? What if he had to be one of those kids who had to sit at the "other" table at school? What if I had to worry everyday if someone from school shared something from their lunch that had peanut butter? What if he was peer pressured and didn't want to tell anyone so ate it hoping he'd be fine? What if Lucas could have it and he couldn't? I spose this is where I opened the door and put out a welcome mat for the devil. Stupid me.

When we told him he would have to do the blood test - he kept saying "that's ok, mom, I don't really like those stupid peanuts anyways, so let's just not do it." We finally made him understand that we HAD to. We had to know how allergic he was before going to big boy school. We had to know if it was dangerous or not. Ethan finally conceded to do it - the promise to go the waterpark all day after we left helped a little I think.

The test was Thursday morning and they said it would be 3-4 days before I got the results. I got the call the next afternoon which was my first sign it wasn't good. The doctor started the conversation "Well, we have some problems." She went on to start out with that he is allergic to cats and dogs and we should get rid of our cat. Then she said he was allergic to milk and eggs, but if they don't bother him then keep eating them. He tested a 2 for soy nuts, but if that doesn't seem to bother him, keep eating them. And then she got quiet. She said he tested a 6 for peanuts. Funny..I thought the test only went to a 5? She said there was another range that said if they hit 100, it was dangerous and he was WELL ABOVE that, whatever that means. She said he should never come in contact with a peanut ever because it would be lethal to him. She said he would never outgrow this allergy, and it will be something that will consume our lives forever. Wow, just like that huh? It felt like I had just received the biggest blow to my gut. My head was spinning and I asked her, now what? She said she would call in some new Epipens for me and schedule an appt with an allergist, we would want to meet with one right away - oh, and have a good weekend. Yeah, right.

I didn't know what to say to my husband. We were all in the car and when Ethan asked who was on the phone I said "just a friend." I didn't have the heart to tell him and quite frankly, I was still in shock.

I'm no longer in denial, but I am refusing to accept this diagnosis. After all, if he was THAT bad, wouldn't he react to my husband eating a PBJ at the same table every lunch almost every Saturday? Wouldn't he react if he touched one of the knives with peanut butter on it in the sink like he has? Wouldn't he react to all the granola bars and 50 billion other snacks that say may contain traces of nuts?? How can someone so allergic never have a reaction if we weren't THAT careful? And how did his allergy more than double in two years?? Well, I have my theories.

When we were kids, how many of us knew someone with a peanut allergy? Maybe a few of us? They sure didn't have tables designated for "those people" to sit at all the schools like they do now. This has become an epidemic. Two years ago I told my husband how much you wanna bet all this freaking out telling parents not to eat it when they are pregnant and give it to their kids until they are 2, 4 or 6 has caused this? Doesn't it seem ironic that the # of peanut allergy cases is rising despite all the withholding? And why can you get shots for other allergies, but not peanuts? And why can he still eat soy and dairy and eggs if he has an allergy but not peanuts? I don't get it and I've been saying so for 2 years. I've since seen specials in the last few months stating that the AAP has "changed their mind" on the peanut allergies and that they think withholding them from children is actually preventing them from building an immunity to them. Duh. I am so mad at myself. But we aren't doctors, so we went with what all of them said to do instead of trusting God and going with our gut. I think we caused his increase in allergy and I'm pissed.

I've read countless articles that the blood tests are not as reliable as the skin tests - so why do they do them, I have no idea. I've also heard that doctors are now giving these types of children very small doses of peanuts to build their immunity over time while being monitored by a doctor. Something we should have done back when he was a 2. I've also read that half of the world thinks they have an allergy because their doctor (not an allergist) said they did, when really their body just has an intolerance for something - totally different and not dangerous, just a nuisance.

So I'm speaking to my mountain (which appears to be the sermon I missed on Sunday) and telling it to "MOVE!" I'm not okay with this and I will do what it takes to help Ethan overcome this.

Here's where I'm looking for some advice, feedback, tips and your experiences. These are the types of questions I'd like to hear back on:

1)When was your child diagnosed (what age)
2)What type of test was used (blood or skin)
3)When did you first feed peanuts to your child (if ever)
4)What did your doctor say was the next step after the diagnosis?
5)Have you been instructed to steer clear of peanuts or have you been working with the doctor to introduce small amounts under supervision?

You can either comment below, or simply email me at: itrocks2bmom@yahoo.com.