A Job I Used To Think I Would Like

Today's post comes from another fabulous prompt from MamaKat. If you want to participate in her weekly writer's workshop, click the logo above and join in.

The prompt I chose today asked what job would we never want to do and why. My first thought was everything you see on that show, Dirty Jobs with Mike. (Anyone else think he's cute??) Anyhoo..

But one job in particular came to mind because it was something I always thought would be the greatest job until I spoke to one that changed my view on it forever.

When you become pregnant, what's one of the first things you look forward to? Your ultrasound, right? You want to see your baby and you want to hear it's heartbeat. You want to know everything is okay. Because at that moment, it becomes just that-much-more-real, right? I agree. I remember counting down the days until my first one. I remember my stomach being all in knots, afraid of what I might see. I remember thinking maybe there won't be anything and it's all in my head - you know, being pregnant. Alas, the appointment comes and everything is how it should be and then you get anxious for the next ultrasound. The BIG one, where you find out what you're having.

I always thought that being an ultrasound tech for pregnant mothers would be a great job. How much fun showing people pictures of their babies. Letting them know what the sex would be. Pointing out all the fingers and toes...and putting that poor mama's mind at ease because I know how they feel. Wouldn't that be a great job? I used to think so too. But then one day I spoke to my ultrasound tech and I never thought of it the same again.

I remember sitting there certain I was going to pee my pants waiting for the ultrasound to begin to find out whether or not Lucas was a boy or girl. One of the most exciting and nerve-wracking appointments for me. The tech was saying that even though I drank all that water they make you drink, she was having a hard time finding the baby - apparently I was dehydrated, story of my life. I cried at the thought of waiting so much for this day only to have to go home and come back in a few weeks. My bladder finally started to fill and she found him. When she started pointing out all the body parts I just giggled and cried with joy. And then I made the most naive statement "He has legs and arms, yeah!"

Faith didn't say anything, which was unusual, and she just kept looking at all the angles of the baby. She made me nervous. Finally, she said she was done and all looked great. Whew. So why the silence? She said, "Now that we know everything is fine, I want to tell you why your comment struck a nerve with me today. So many mothers, like yourself, come in here looking for the basic limbs and they don't realize how much more we are looking for. I've had to tell people their babies don't have a brain, or that all their bones are broken, or they have no heart..."

I almost vomited. No brain?? I couldn't comprehend how that must feel to hear or to tell. It seems obvious, now, that of course not all appointments go well, and I knew that. But, I never imagined just how horrible they could be or thought about having to be the one to tell someone. She explained she used to work at another clinic where the mothers go if something "seemed out of place" during their normal ultrasound. She had to quit that job because of how hard it was to tell mother's and father's the horrible news and most of the news was horrible for those that were referred to her. The job was making her ill.

Could you imagine? What would you say? When they asked you why them, how would you respond? It was at that moment I silently thanked God, again, for my healthy baby and I prayed for those who will not hear good news during their visits. I also thanked God that I didn't know about all these "other" things that I could have worried about for 5 months until now. I know how emotional you are when you are pregnant and overwhelmed with concern to go from such a high to such a low... such heartbreak, ugh.

And for that reason, I would never, ever, want to be an ultrasound tech for pregnant women. And if any of you have ever had to go through this experience - either giving the news or receiving it, my heart goes out to you. And if your babies are fine, go hug them. Right now. Because you are blessed if you can....